Fantasy Review: ‘The Last Continent’ by Terry Pratchett

Part 22 of The Complete Discworld Reread

*Ring*

Hello, Terry?

Ya, it is me, Nathan.

Nathan!

You know, the guy doing the full reread of your Discworld series?

No? Haven’t read one review? Not even…

Really? Wow, really thought some of those would have made it your way. But hey I got a few questions for you.

Huh? Well, it is surprisingly easy to get someone’s home number these days, the internet is a wonderful place. Anyway, I just finished The Last Continent and I am a bit confused.

Yes, I figured out that it was set in the Discworld version of Australia. Hell my three year old could have figured that out. By the way do you get those Foster’s Beer commercials on your TV much?

No? Oh come on, you know the ones. They show something like a guy throwing a boomerang at someone and then say “Instant message,” implying that that is how the Australian people would grab someone’s attention.

Really? Not ringing a bell? Because honestly they either stole half their jokes from you or vice versa, there were a lot of easy jokes in this book. Honestly did you just get bored? Usually your stuff is more clever than this; you of all people know that just making a reference to Pricilla Queen of the Desert does not automatically make it a joke.   Most of Rincewind’s page time was spend poking at Australian stereotypes in not so clever ways.

Please don’t hang up sir, I am sorry. I know you can’t be on fire all the time.

No need to be defensive sir, I know there are tons of people who loved this book. No doubt they have watched Crocodile Dundee six times this week. Nothing, I didn’t say anything there, just background noise sir.

What’s that? Oh ya, the evolution jokes were better. I loved the god of evolution. I loved the love or beetles.   Instant adaption is great. And to be fair everything to do with the university wizards is comedy gold, you have the interplay between them down to an art. It was just Rincewind’s story that didn’t seem to have any actual comedy in it.

Ok, yes I will stop bring it up and move on. I am sorry.

My favorite part? Oh the scene where everyone takes over and tries to draw a duck. Pure gold. I especially love the Burser’s thoughts in the background, a rare look into someone so insane he is down right sane. Plus, I have to say, it was this book that first taught me what a drop bear was when I read it years ago.

You have to go soon? Really? It’s almost midnight, where are you going this time of night?

What? Oh, the real reason I was calling? Like I said, I am a bit confused about The Last Continent. Could you answer a plot point question for me? Then I will let you go.

Oh thank you. Let me see, how should I actually phrase this. I mentioned I loved the wizards and found them hilarious as ever. I saw a lot of your genius hidden in some of the jokes, subtle nods to evolutionary theory and perspective in art. And while the Austrialian clichés got old I admit a few of them made me chuckle. But… ahh, this is hard. How do I ask this? Ok, I got it.

Was there any kind of coherent plot I was supposed to following in this jumble, confused mess of a book?

Hello?

Hello?

Terry?

3 Stars.

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